id be glad to
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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