Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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