So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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