So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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