We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I intend to get homeless drunk
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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