would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
