Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
