This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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