that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Couch. On fire.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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