he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
