oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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