I wannas sexs uuuuu
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
