idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize