Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
