Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
