Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
