Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
