i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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