Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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