david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize