At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
