I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
