You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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