So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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