M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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