oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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