she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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