How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
did you just send me my own nude
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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