Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
