Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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