I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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