omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
