i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
