i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
