i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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