I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
