And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
