In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
