No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
