K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
