Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
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I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
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When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize