Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
