She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Blood and glitter go together right?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
