I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
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it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
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I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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