I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
