I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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