ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
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A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
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She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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