do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
