I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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