he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
