also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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