ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
