Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
