Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
