it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
