oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
