ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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