He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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