Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize