WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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