No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm passing your future prison.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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