Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
