I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
