There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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