i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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