5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
