My nipple is on Facebook.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
As shirtless as possible
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
